Monday, May 16, 2011

Tits Out!

I know it's been awhile since I've put up a blog, naughty naughty. I guess nothing has inspired me up until this point. You will never guess what has finally inspired me; TITS! And today it is all about looking at 'em. No, I don't swing that way, not that I can't appreciate a nice breasticle. I have just finished reading an article about a lady who was breastfeeding in a cafe, and was asked to drape a tea towel over her breast. The woman was so disgusted by the request that she has created a massive uproar. The issue has become so big, in fact, that the cafe has had to close it's Facebook page. Breastfeeding mothers have decided to boycott the cafe, cutting a significant chunk of the cafe's earnings. The media has also sided with said booby flopper, spouting claims of discrimination against what is the most natural process on the planet. Is it just me, or are you also thinking,'Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?'
I don't know about you, but I prefer not to be looking at someone's big milk filled flap jack while I'm trying to enjoy a meal. How hard is it to be a bit discreet? I think breastfeeding is a lovely way to bond with your child, great for their immune system, all that wonderful stuff. But I don't want to bloody see it! I've got nothing against nudity, I promise you. My skin and I enjoy a bit of time together when the weather permits. However, I do have something against people being forced to view it.

If you see nudity in a magazine, you can close it. If you see nudity on the television, you can change the channel. But if you see nudity halfway through your ceasar salad, which you have paid way way too much for (that's a whole other issue), you have no choice but to either look at the tit or abandon your expensive meal. I don't feel this is a fair choice. I understand that breastfeeding is a necessity, but I don't think this is a good excuse to do it uncovered. Let me put it to you this way: If a man has a penis disease that means his penis is always piping hot and itchy, then this is something he cannot help. The poor guy spends every minute of every day in pain, scratching his willy red raw. Does this mean that he has a right to flop that willy out in a cafe and scratch it in front of everyone? It's perfectly natural to scratch an itch, one of nature's most natural instincts, why can't he do it in front of the customers? I will tell you why. Because it takes away the general public's choice about what they have to look at. I can tell you now, that man would be arrested if he pulled that sausage out in public. And yet his need is just as urgent and necessary as breastfeeding. I don't want to see his one eyed trouser snake, and I don't want to see your bulbous milk factories. I'm trying to eat a salad with a big fried egg on top that looks suspiciously like a......you get the idea. Cover it up!